Well, this article "has been long overdue." That sums up a lot of things that happens in your early 20's. As long as lessons are learnt, that's not a bad thing. We learn more from meeting more people. And this is the time when we meet the most number of "temporary people" in our lives. I've learned a lot from these "temporary people" and here are some of the best.
One: What Works for You, Might Not Work for Someone Else
There's good reason I've placed this at the top of my list. One, this has made most sense and realization in me. And two, the things I say below might not work for you! For instance, disruptive thinking makes me stand out. If I succeed, I've found a new, and possibly a better way to do something. If not, I can always go back to the conventional way of doing things.
Two: Never Rush Your Most Important Decisions
The times that you take decisions without thinking a lot about it are 'spur of the moment' decisions. I've learnt that it's best not to take decisions when you are emotional (happy, sad, excited). I agree that your gut feeling might be right sometimes.
Listening to people and conversations gives you more time to think. It's such a simple fact. It happens in life and work. If you're a salesperson balancing life and work; you'll know what I mean. Listening is a skill. When you listen, you understand the other person better. Talking at the right moment is the other side of the coin.
Four: The Art of Asking
Yes, it most definitely is an art. A dying one I must add, not slowly, but quite rapidly. Why? Two words. Social Media. Social Media has made things too easy. It's easier to ask and voice your opinion when you have a blind to take cover. You have time to think before you write. But sorry, that's not how the world works. If you need anything, you need to step out of your comfort zone and ask. And ask it right! Different people have different views. So you need to master the art of asking the same thing differently to different people to make things work.
Five: Keep Yourself Occupied and Productive
A problem that lots of teenagers and vicenarians face is too much alone time. The alone time is not the problem, it's you seeing it as one. But most people don't realise this. They view alone time as a problem. Social Media is full of happy pictures and more recently, people are going LIVE! It amplifies the problem unless you view your alone time, as your personal time. Keep yourself occupied and productive. Social Media is not the problem, you are.
Six: If You are Uncomfortable with Someone, Tell Them
This is inevitable. Once in awhile you will find some people that you find hard to adjust with. It's not your fault, it's not theirs either. So make sure you tell the person and find out what is wrong. I don't mean with everyone of those people. But the ones that matter. Feeling uncomfortable with someone you're working with degrades the team's performance.
Seven: It's OK to be Sad - It's a Phase
Being sad is natural. And you will be sad at one point. But it's a phase. You'll be alright. You need to recognize everyone becomes sad at one point. Don't let it get the better of you. It's OK to be sad, but have in mind that it's a phase and you'll be alright in no time.
Eight: There is no 'Right Moment'
Whenever I want to start something new; I've always had the 'it doesn't feel the right time' excuse. For instance, I always wanted to learn German. I planned to start learning German after I moved to a new job. I thought I would have more time then. I do, but I still have not started learning German. There is no right moment. If you don't start now, it means it's not your priority now. So it won't be your priority later as well.
Nine: Balance is Key
Balance. It's the magic word for me. Let me explain. Take the Earth for example, it relies on the balance between all life forms. It's loss cause disasters. It's the same for us too. Work - life balance. Too much of either can result in disaster for the other. If things are not going so well, the tide will turn because the balance has to be kept. It's the Law of Nature.
Ten: It's never too late for an apology
There are some little things that eat up precious space in our minds for nothing. That constant nagging that makes you feel a little guilty. I had carried this feeling for over 5 years trying to apologize. But the day I did, I felt so much better. It has not bothered me since.